Dear Men: Thanks for Being Confused with Us

We know you want to help.

You see us sweating through the sheets at 3 a.m., crying at soup commercials, standing in front of the fridge like we’re on a silent hunger strike, and having deep philosophical debates about whether or not our uterus is trying to kill us. And you? You’re there. Slightly panicked. Genuinely concerned. Holding a cup of tea you made... just in case.

We see you. And we love you for trying. Truly. Even if we want to stab you for breathing too loudly.

Here’s the thing though: we don’t fully know what’s going on either. The rage feels real. We can’t help it.

Our hormones are doing the cha-cha, our nervous systems are on high alert, we aren’t sleeping and our bodies are out here playing hormonal roulette while we’re trying to keep our jobs, families, and sanity together.

But we are working on it. We’re researching. We’re talking. We’re showing up to events like this one (Hi!). We’re finally breaking the silence that’s lasted generations, and we want you with us.

So, in the meantime? While we figure this out together- here’s a handy little cheat sheet of things you can do that are actually helpful (and won’t get you banished to the couch).

How to Support Your Menopausal Goddess Without Getting Hit with a Throw Pillow:

1. Don’t Comment on the Thermostat.

It’s her thermostat now. She is the climate. Layer up!

2. Stock the Snacks.

No one wants to cry about injustice on an empty stomach. Cheese, chips, chocolate, cucumbers — just… options. All the options.

3. Learn the Phrase: “That sounds really hard. Do you want to talk or be left alone?”

This is the Swiss Army knife of empathy. Master it.

4. Quit with the Fixing.

We’re not broken. We’re evolving. Into spicy dragons. Let us breathe fire for a bit.

5. Be the Calm in the Hormonal Storm.

Bonus points if you do this while folding laundry and not chewing too loudly.

6. Never, EVER say “Is it your hormones?”

Unless you want to see a live reenactment of Jaws.

7. Offer Warm Things.

Tea, a heating pad, a dog, a fuzzy blanket, a foot rub. Basically, anything that could live in a cottagecore dreamscape.

8. Tell Her She’s a Goddamn Warrior.

Say it like you mean it. Say it again.

You don’t have to understand it. You just have to be here with us. Your presence, your patience, your willingness to learn — that’s love. And we see it. ❤️